20 pages of essay in 2 days (and 2 nights)....

this is what twenty pages of essays looks like.


























































and i still have ten pages to go.

love.

there and back again

Ok, so I feel like I've been a flurry of emotions lately. Back and forth, but I suppose such is life. And I'm ok with that, life's a bit more exciting that way.

There is so much in this world that I have to be thankful for. And although every emotion - including sorrow -is a valid one, I'm trying to remain positive, because there is so much to be happy about.

"Jesus what a strength in weakness
let me hide myself in Him
tempted, tried, and sometimes failing
He, my strength, my victory wins

hallelujah, what a savior!
hallelujah, what a friend
saving, helping, keeping, loving
He is with me to the end

Jesus what what a help in sorrow
while the billows o'er me roll
even when my heart is breaking
He, my comfort, helps my soul

hallelujah, what a savior!
hallelujah, what a friend.
saving, helping, keeping, loving
He is with me to the end"

there is so much to look forward to.

love.

time travel...

Dear Roberta Sparrow, I have reached the end of your book and... there are so many things that I need to ask you. Sometimes I'm afraid of what you might tell me. Sometimes I'm afraid that you'll tell me that this is not a work of fiction. I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to.



















:)

love.

but she stopped running months ago...

I HATE being alone.

"cause all you see
is where else you could be
when you're at home

and out on the streets
are so many possibilities
to not be alone."
---------------
[death cab for cutie]

sigh.

love.

a generous misunderstanding

I've been completely ignorant to how a lot of Americans view Christianity. In my Politics and Religion class I get a taste of the generally misled thought of what the state of the church in America is.

Something should be probably done to change this view.

I hope I can do something to create a more positive image about what Christ's message was. Not sacrificing beliefs, but making positive change, and being positively good helping others.

Does anyone else experience this?


love.

let go

and so i'm letting go.


for now.

boy this has rattled my nerves (to say the least).

love.

jesus camp pt 2.

On the eve of the film's release, Ted Haggard has disowned the movie Jesus Camp, saying that it misrepresents evangelicals and puts them in a sinister light. The film follows kids who attend a Bible camp where they pray for the country and speak in tongues. Haggard is among the most prominent names to be featured in the movie ...9/15/06 | 12:19 PM


hmmm.


love.

And it got us to think about living our lives for what's right...

Entrance Music: Phantom Planet - The Guest

Hi. I'm not even sure who reads this still, but I'm going to write anyways because it feels good and right and natural and I want to. So there.

Do you ever feel like things just pile up and pile up. Not all at once. It creeps up on you slowly over time. You keep feeling this nagging in you that you continually suppress until it seems nonexistent, but that never helps it just comes back a little bigger and a little more intense than the previous time. The voice is pretty persistent. I suppose that's Holy Spirit. I suppose that the voice has been speaking to me for a while now.

I think I got a lot of things out in the open this weekend.

I think (I hope) I've made a lot of decisions about my life - at least for the time being - and what I'm going to focus my energy on.

I know this is probably personal but I have my reasons for being so vulnerable. I've spent so much of my time wishing that a girl would fill my lonely heart. I have never been too long withouth someone in my life filling that part, but I haven't had a great deal of luck in that department. A lot of it has been due to my immaturity as a person, but another part I believe is that it's just not the right time. So I guess with that thought and a LOT of thinking I've set my mind to not be looking for any sort of relationship this year. I need to stop thinking of my singleness as a disorder and start viewing it as a blessing. God has me here. I don't know why. I don't know why I am supposed to be single right now, but I'm going to quit trying to find someone and just find Him. That sounds a bit cheesy for my taste, but it's really what I feel.

The thought it scary and exciting. I have never really tried to stay away from relationships, but for this school year I'm going to remain single. I suppose that is why I'm being open about this because if you are reading this than you can keep my accountable for what I'm trying to set myself to. There is so much in my life that needs to gather all of my attention. My family. My friends. School. My God! Besides, I will be plenty busy with interning and other things to devote a healthy amount of time to someone right now.

I'm a bit nervous about all of this, and I am asking that you pray for me as I embark on something that might seem silly to many of you, but it's something that I think is going to be beneficial in the long run.

I pray that God will use this time to grow me, stretch me, and shape me into a better man, boyfriend, husband, father.... in time.

Sigh.





















love.

coming soon

I have lots to say.

I'll write it out soon.

love.

jesus camp

Watch the trailer...










...and discuss.

I'm not even sure what to make of this.

love.

no, but seriously, school isn't that great...

I'm an upperclassmen again.

2 years left of college... wonderful.

Here look at this:

















love.

be more ready now... because the future is fast approaching

Entrance Music: Ryan Adams - Love is Hell (the entire album)

I haven't devoted anytime lately to sit down and write. Or to think for that matter. I'm feeling up for it so I'm not going to waste this opportunity.

Maybe it's the time of year. Maybe my life is picking up. Maybe I've been around too many things that remind me that my future is fast approaching. Or maybe it's just that I'm growing up a little quicker than I prepared for. In any event there has been a thick sense of "oh no what am I going to do in the next few years that will define my life?!" in the air. And it's consumed most of my thoughts.

Bryan's wedding weekend sparked dozens of great discussions, mostly centered around our futures. And to be honest I really enjoy talking about what's in store because I feel like there is so much to look forward to in each of our lives. One particular conversation with Robbie, Troy, and Nathan was completely fantastic. In round robin style we each laid out what we wanted to do in the next few years and on. How amazing it is that God plants something completely unique in each of our heads and hearts. Each story compliments the next.

What is in store for me?

Here's what I've come up with so far...

The next 2 years:
I started out school at Grand Valley, but now I'm back in Saginaw. I'm completely cool with that. Things worked out here. I'm interning at church, working for my parents, and have an outlet to be writing and writing worship, and gaining invaluable training and experience as a worship leader. I don't plan on leaving for the next two years. I will finish school at SVSU with a degree in Political Science. Hopefully with a few life changing experiences along the way...

My parents introduced me to the Washington Semester program. If I participate I'll spend a semester interning with an organization in DC as well as spending a few weeks abroad focusing on whatever program I choose to involve myself with. In all honesty I've been a bit more skeptical intially than I should have been, but this really looks like a cool opportunity and I have lots of voices in my life telling me to go. As with all things there are a lot of considerations to be taken into account. I'd have to take a step back from interning for one semester either this winter or next fall. It would be a huge loss to leave that behind. Not even so much the internship as the relationships with the students. But again, when am I going to be able to do something like this again in my life? There is so much to think about. Please pray for me that I would seek to follow God in wherever He leads.

2 years and so on:
Hopefully in two years I'll be a true Political Scientist backed up by my bachelors degree. From there the aim is seminary. I have three options. Grand Rapids Theological Seminary (which Troys calls "Grrrrts"), Deniver Seminary, and Fuller Theological Seminary. My desire is that I'll be out of state, but I'm certainly not against living in Grand Rapids again. I mean come on, Mars Hill is in Grand Rapids. There are a ton more seminaries, but these three are most appealing to me.

If I end up in Denver I'll fall into community at the onset. Bryan and Anna are already there. Steve and Jodi are making their way there this winter. Denver Seminary is a solid institution and I've heard only good things from anyone I've talked with. Not a bad choice.

But if things go as I'm hoping they will, I'll find myself in Pasadena, California at Fuller Theological Seminary. I have had this sense of adventure burning in me for a while now and I would absolutely love to spend a couple years (maybe more) on the west coast. It wouldn't be a walk in the park financially that's for sure, but it's a task I'm hoping to tackle. Most importantly there is a program that almost seems too perfect for my interests and leanings. I would pursue a Master of Arts in Theology with a concentration in Theology and the Arts. Which means I'd be taking classes like: Theology and Culture, Theology, Pop Culture, and the Emerging Church, Theolgy of CS Lewis, Viewing Film: Philosophical and Theological Considerations, and Worship and the Performing Arts. I literally get chills just thinking about how thrilling it would be. My heart is set on Fuller, but again it's in the Lord's hands. (Fuller... Fuller... pleaaaaase!)

And so on.. and so forth:
I don't even know where I'll end up after my run with seminary is up. I'm open to any place. Be it Michigan or California or Denver or .. Montana? Anywhere. Working in a church or teaching at the college level would be my final aim. Oh and of course a family, but that's a whole other discussion I suppose.

If you've made it this far I want to first congratulate you for sticking to your guns and finishing this novel as it's turned out to be. Mostly, I just want to let you know how much I appreciate your interest in my life. How insignificant I am in the history of mankind and I consider it a blessing that you have even the slightest concern for what I'm doing. I value our frienship immensely.

So please pray. Pray for me. Pray that God would reveal in His time and with His perfect love. Pray for others in my situation. Pray for my friends and my family as they go through all of this with me. Pray to praise God for the work He's already done in my life and in the lives of everyone around us. Pray that He will "create in me a heart that beats for Him".

I love you all very much (even when I don't show it all the time like you all deserve).

love.

Exit Music: Ryan Adams - Jacksonville City Nights (With The Cardinals) (the entire album)

someone got married this weekend... it was bryan and anna

love.

generously orthodox.

I think anyone interested in spritual development should be required to read 'A Generous Orthodoxy'.














What a breath of fresh air.

love.

we think the same things (at the same time)

Thom Yorke is a gift to music.














if you want to be blown away click... here.

love.

come on my hair is so long.

troy and i need haircuts, desperately.

any takers?

love.

this is what a school picture should look like... (or the study of best friends)

love.

so i was thinking, it hurts to be punched...

Ever have those days when every possible attempt that life gets to sucker punch you, it does?

Yup, me too.

love.

as long as we're talking about artists that make me feel warm...

David Crowder is incredible.

'A Collision' was one of the best albums released in 2005. I know he's trying to be a lot like Sufjan with his concept for the album (even covering a Sufjan song) but dear lord he's just absurd!

Hands down most important worship leader of our generation. There I said it.

I want to be David Crowder when I grow older, and I don't care who knows it!


love.

ps. 'B Collision' drops next week!

kyrie elaison is such a freaking great song

No but seriously, I love that song. It may have revolutionized my life. You can't help but be inspired when your ears hear the sweet melody. And by sweet I mean breathtaking, but by sweet I also mean like something you eat.

It's nearly 3 am everytime I post. That's because I am nocturnal. Or wait, I'm up during the day too. I basically find minimal amounts of time to sleep because well, it's just a waste of my time.

I think everyone should play more board games. Scattegories? Sequence? Scotland Yard?!! and umm.. Mancala? No, I take that last one back.

Wednesday night, Wednesday night. I need to maybe change my strings before then. They've been neglected and I feel horrible.

Also, does anybody love the music from megaman 2 on nintendo as much as I do?

I looked through a good deal of my old livejournal entries from probably 3 -4 years ago in high school. I don't seem the same as I was then, but there are lot of things that make me think I'm still like that boy from back then.

I'm going to be useless for awhile longer before I retreat under the covers.

love.